My mom died unexpectedly when I was a child – before I got my first period, pierced my nose, fell madly in love, had my heart shattered, and eventually met and married mi amorcito. Although I don’t have a lifetime of memories with her, my heart is full with many special moments we shared.
She taught me how to read, say my prayers, ride a bike and roll my R’s (¡arroz, carro, rosas, ferrocarril!) She spent endless mornings wiping away my tears when I didn’t want to go to school, afternoons sitting on the floor playing with me and my dolls, and late evenings changing my sheets and comforting me when I peed in the bed. I never left her side, hugging her hips tightly as she stirred sancocho, watched her novelas, and ironed my church dresses.
When she passed away, I decided (at the tender age of nine) to be a “big girl.” That very moment at her funeral many moons ago – in which I wore a navy dress with white polka dots, and let family and neighbors kiss my cheeks – aged me. All of a sudden, she was gone. From then on, I grew into an independent spirit. I left home at 18 to conquer the world, and never looked back.
Consejito: True friends are such a rarity. It’s like discovering a pot of gold, spotting a unicorn, or finding a needle in a haystack. But when you do find her, hold on tight and never let go.
Through the years, I never had a mother figure. But, my life has been enriched with soul sisters – Chicas who have “mothered” me through the ups and downs. And, I’m grateful to the universe.
See, your “forever friend” gets you through the disappointing and sad times. She is your life raft through the turbulent waters. This Chica will stick by you through sickness, surgery, and even chemotherapy. She’ll hold your hand when a parent dies, or you lose a pet. She will be your rock when you lose a job, or your cheating boyfriend cheats on you for the umpteenth time. She is, simply put, your people.
But, she’s also the first one in line to celebrate the good times with you! A milestone birthday = a weekend getaway. That new job = happy hour cocktails, ¡salud! Getting promoted at work = shopping spree galore. Scoring a new apartment = did someone say housewarming party? And you two pop bottles when one gets married or sometimes, divorced. Celebration is her middle name.
Consejito: Technology keeps us connected in many ways, from liking your friend’s Facebook post, following her Snapchat stories and commenting on her Instagram pics. But, nothing beats giving her a good old-fashioned hug in person, or spending an hour chismeando on the phone if you live miles apart. Boy, that’s the good stuff!
Your soul sister not only understands you, but she completely gets you. Hell, she’s even sillier than you are! She reads your body language even when you’re not saying much. She knows what you’re thinking because she’s thinking the same thing. Sometimes you just start giggling for no reason. She’ll tell you the truth when you’re not trying to hear it. In the middle of the night, you’ll get a text asking if you’re sleeping (‘cause if you’re not, then its time for a chat!) When you’re feeling like a loser, she will boost your self-confidence. She will hate someone you hate, love whoever you love. Morning, noon or night – this homegirl rolls with you.
You can talk (from dawn to dusk, ahem!) about everything and anything no matter how crazy, controversial, taboo or trivial the topic. Nothing is off-limits, that’s how close your bond is. This Chica is your ride or die. She has your back even when you’re dead wrong. She’ll gift you a bottle of wine, just because it’s Tuesday. She swaps clothing, books, lipsticks and secrets with you. In fact, she brings you the BEST bochinche! Whew! When you’ve forgotten how great you are, she’s the first to remind you of your greatness. She hears you loud and clear, but really listens to what you don’t say, too. Your BFF is down for the cause as you chase your dreams. And, while you’re engaged in a cry fest, she’ll make you laugh so hard you’ll spit out your cafecito.
Consejito: Don’t let anything get in the way of your friendship. I’ve learned this the hard way. Nip an issue in the bud before it blossoms. No matter the distance – from the Atlantic to the Pacific, crossing country borders, jumping over continents, from one time zone to another – keep your friendship alive.
I really believe soul sisters share a soul. The minute you meet, the connection is there. And the beauty of it is that no matter how much time goes by since you’ve spoken, you always pick up exactly where you left off. Giggles and all!
Chicas, what do you love most about your soul sisters? Please share your thoughts as I’d love to hear from you!
Mamá decía, “La verdadera amiga es la que a pesar de saber como eres te quiere.”